The Power of Words
 Proverbs 25:11-15; James 3:1-10

I am scared stiff of chain saws. I blame it partly on the Reader's Digest editors. I once read one of their terrifying "drama in real life" articles with title something like, "How I cut off my leg with a chain saw and survived." Anyway, I can hardly look at a chain saw without wincing. The legendary B film, "The Texas Chain saw Massacre" doesn't help my phobia. I have never seen the film. I don't need to. Imagination is enough. And in my defense, this fear is not unreasonable. If you had to pick a tool to be afraid of, this would make sense. It is makes a noise like a dentists drill, just decibels louder. It is hard to control. And It has immense destructive power.

I can't think of a better illustration of the tongue. Noisy. Hard to control. Immensely destructive. There's even a certain physical resemblance. And we use our tongues like chain saws almost daily to hack people to pieces. Ironically, we use them most destructively on people we are closest too. The people we "love" most are the most frequent victims. Some of us have gotten so good at using our tongues as weapons that we use them with great skill and dexterity so as to cause the greatest pain. Others of us aren't so skillful, so we just slash away blindly. Either way, we reenact the Texas chain saw massacre with words almost every day. Some of us have already been at it this morning.

We even glorify the violence of our tongues. Our very best literature does this. Shakespeare was amazingly skillful at putting together insults. From Shakespeare to sitcoms we have been taught to value the carefully crafted insult -- the clever barb. And we may even feel proud of this ability -- people laugh and say doesn't he have a clever tongue.

But the damage we do with them is terrible. One of the most blatant lies we learned as children was enshrined in a rhyme: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but . . . words will never hurt me." Rubbish. Yes sticks and stones will hurt. But words are just as destructive and their effects often last longer. Fifteen years ago I was a College freshmen. Terribly afraid and insecure. I was sitting in my dorm lounge, reading. Two women walked through. As they left one of them said, "Doesn't he look like an interesting person to meet." It was not intended as a compliment. Why do I remember that woman's words 15 years later! Words have the power to penetrate deep into our hearts. And they persist. When I recall those words 15 years later, they still have the power to wound.

And I do this all the time to the people I love most. Last Sunday night, Carol and I had an argument. I don't even remember what it was about. I was just going out the door, and as I did I made an amazingly cruel remark to her. It was perfectly crafted to go straight to her heart -- and then I walked out.

There is no one here that does not know exactly what I am talking about. Everyone of us has been on both the giving and receiving end of this kind of cruelty. So how do we stop the carnage? How can I use my tongue for good rather than for evil?

First, by properly diagnosing the disease:
Matthew 12:33-37 delivers the bad news: The activity of my tongue reveals the state of my heart. "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." What I say is just a symptom of underlying disease. None of us wants to believe this. We even act surprised when our tongues get out of hand. "O, I didn't really mean to say that. It just slipped out." Right! In fact it is EXACTLY what I meant. It's just that I'm too ashamed or lack the self-reflection to admit it. Imagine I walk into a crowded mall and begin attacking people randomly with a chain saw. Would I then call in to 911 and say, "There has been a terrible accident." I really didn't mean to do it. My chain saw slipped. It would not be very convincing.

Yet we do this often with words. We massacre friends with our tongues, then, perhaps feeling sorry for the results of the carnage, we say, "Wow, I guess my tongue really got away from me. I didn't mean to say that." Freud helped us to understand that slips of the tongue are not slips. They are windows into what is really going on inside. The reason that we are embarrassed by our tongues is because they periodically DO lift the blinds on who we really are on the inside. And it is not a pretty sight. When I speak angry words, I reveal and angry heart. When I gossip, it is because my heart loves gossip. When I lie, I display a deceptive heart. The patterns of my speech are a window into the state of my heart.

To change my speech patterns, I first need a change of heart. I can't do that on my own. So the first stop in dealing with our tongues has to be at the cross. The cross is where we come to grips with our own inability to overcome the sin in our hearts and freely receive God's Grace. You can't take care of your tongue problem without dealing with the heart problem, and you can't deal with the heart problem without coming to the cross.

Once we've been to the cross, and experienced God's Grace. What then?

That is where our obligation begins. "We have an obligation -- but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will leave, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are the Sons of God." (Romans 8:12-13) God gives us a new nature. He gives us his Holy Spirit. And it is now our obligation to put to death the old nature, to live according to our new nature, and to yield to the Holy Spirit.

What are the marks of a Spirit-controlled tongue?

1. A Spirit controlled tongue uses words sparingly.

Proverbs 10:19 -- When words are many, sin is not absent. The more I talk, the more likely I am to do damage with my tongue. When in doubt, keep the chain saw turned off.

I knew a woman in Chicago. A wonderful person. She was kind, hospitable. I never heard her say a harsh word to anyone. She loved and encouraged people. But she had a weakness -- prayer requests. She loved to pass on prayer requests. And she did so often and in great quantity.

She didn't intend to do harm -- she certainly didn't think of herself as a gossip. She just talked a lot and shared her prayer requests about people.

Words are like fire -- they easily get out of hand, and they easily spread. Gossip and slander are terribly subtle sins -- they disguise themselves as concern, seeking advice, just needing to unload. And the starting point is almost always just talking too much.

A simple rule: When you know someone is facing difficulties, talk with the person and talk to God. There is almost never a need to talk to anyone else.

There's another reason that Proverbs gives us to use words sparingly. The positive value of words is magnified when they are used sparingly. You all know what would happen if the government just began printing and releasing huge quantities of dollars and handing them out. We would not be any richer. The result would be inflation -- dollars would lose their value. Words are also subject to inflation. When you talk constantly, people stop listening. Let me suggest a model for you -- Alan Greenspan, chairman of the Federal Reserve. Alan Greenspan has to be extraordinarily careful what he says, because investors pay attention to every word. One careless word from him can send markets around the world up or down.

Our aim should be to make every word count for good. Treat words as a precious resource and use them sparingly.

2. A Spirit controlled tongue speaks softly
Proverbs 15:1-2 -- A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.

See if this routine seems familiar:

Hi, Love. I'm home.
Hi, Honey. Did you remember to buy milk?
No, I didn't know we needed milk.
But I asked you to get milk.
No you didn't. You never said a thing about milk.
Well, you weren't listening. And you should have known we were out.
How am I supposed to keep track of these things.
You don't have to yell at me -- I just asked whether you bought milk.
I'm not yelling.
You ARE yelling. Listen to yourself.
Well, if I'm yelling it's because you're yelling.
I'm not yelling.

Harsh words harden. Gentle words soften.

Carol and I have some friends who tried to model this in their marriage. When Beth would show signs of anger or irritation, Jim would look at her admiringly and say, "You are so beautiful when you are angry." I have tried this approach and I have to warn you that it can backfire. Better to speak softly AND show that you actually care about what is being said. But the principle is sound. Patience and gentleness will wear down anger and hostility as surely as water wears through the hardest rock.

Proverbs 25:15 -- "Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break bones." Gentle words are more powerful than harsh words because they break down resistance.

3. A Spirit controlled tongue speaks truth
The truth is a precious commodity. CEOs know this. Heads of Government know this. The CIA spends a lot of effort trying to get accurate, truthful information about the world so that there is a solid foundation for policy decisions.

The CIA also spends a lot of effort spreading inaccurate information to other governments. Why? Because lies are such an effective weapon. One of the most destructive uses of the tongue is to lie. When I lie to you, I am robbing you of information that you need in order to live wisely. So Proverbs 6:17 says that a lying tongue is disgusting to God. God hates lies.

But to speak truth means more than just to avoid lying. To speak truth means to speak on behalf of righteousness and justice. Proverbs tells us to speak out for those who cannot speak -- to defend the cause of those who are powerless by our words.

That should be enough on what it means to speak truth. Unfortunately, I have to say something more about this because of a terrible perversion of this principle. Many people nowadays are being encouraged to be completely honest and truthful about their feelings -- about what is going on inside them. As in: "I know this is going to hurt you, but I just have to be honest about my feelings." So, in the name of psychological health, or in the name of honesty, we slander our parents, our spouses or our friends. That is not what it means to speak truthfully. The call to honesty is not an excuse to dump all of the trash and wickedness of our hearts out onto other people. Don't let truth become an excuse to dishonor parents or to hurt other people by unloading your feelings.

Stick to the objective truth of God's word, and the objective truth of God's world. Your feelings and emotions have nothing to do with truth.

4. Speak words of blessing and healing

A chain saw can be terribly destructive. It can also be a wonderfully useful tool. If I was trapped under a fallen tree, the sound of a chain saw would be music to my ears.

Proverbs 18:21 says "The tongue has the power of life and death." Words have the power to destroy -- they also have the power to rescue. Pleasant words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (16:24)

If we allow our tongues simply to go on autopilot, they will fall into old habits and criticism, gossip and lies. The antidote is to keep your tongue busy with words of blessing: words of praise, words of appreciation, words of forgiveness, words of apology.

This is all very well when people around you are nice and polite. But what about when they are yelling at you, cursing, insulting you? It is our calling as Christians to return blessings for curses -- to return kind words for harsh ones.

You can be an enormous influence for healing in your world if you will simply accept it as your calling to exchange blessings for curses.

Many of us have hurt or been hurt -- wounded or been wounded with words within the past 24 hours. The wounds may still be fresh.

As we come to communion, it is important that you deal with those wounds. If you have been responsible for wounding someone, and that person is here, don't come to communion before you have spoken words of healing to them. Don't hesitate, do it right now.

And if you have been wounded, begin the healing process by forgiving and praying for the person who wounded you. And purpose in your heart to speak words of blessing to the person who hurt you.


Litany of Confession

Leader: Almighty God: you alone are good and holy. Purify our lives and make us brave disciples. We do not ask you to keep us safe, but to keep us loyal, so we may serve Jesus Christ, who, tempted in every way as we are, was faithful to you.

People: Amen.
Leader: From lack of reverence for truth and beauty; from a calculating or sentimental mind; from going along with mean and ugly things.

People: O God, deliver us.
Leader: From cowardice that dares not face truth; laziness content with half-truth; or arrogance that thinks it knows it all.

People: O God, deliver us.
Leader: From artificial life and worship; from all that is hollow or insincere;

People: O God, deliver us.
Leader: From trite ideals and cheap pleasures; from mistaking vulgarity for humor;

People: O God, deliver us.
Leader: From being dull, pompous, or rude; from putting down neighbors;

People: O God, deliver us.
Leader: From cynicism about our brothers; from intolerance or cruel indifference;

People: O God, deliver us.

Leader: From being satisfied with things as they are, in the church or in the world; from failing to share your indignation;

People: O God, deliver us.
Leader: From selfishness, self-indulgence, or self-pity;

People: O God, deliver us.
Leader: From token concern for the poor, for lonely or loveless people; from confusing faith with good feeling, or love with wanting to be loved.

People: O God, deliver us.
Leader: For everything in us that may hide your light;

People: O God, light of life, forgive us.

Assurance of Pardon

Hear the good news! This statement is completely reliable and should be universally accepted: Christ Jesus entered the world to rescue sinners. He personally bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might be dead to sin and be alive God. In Jesus Christ we are forgiven. Let us also forgive one another.